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Obituaries

Sylvia Saxon

September 24, 2013

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Eulogy for Sylvia Saxon Sylvia Ruter was born in Bound Brook New Jersey Sept 17, 1924 to Lena and Max Ruter. Preceding her in the Ruter family were her brother Morris, who was 9, and her sister Ruth, or "Ray" who was just about to turn 5. Sadly, when Sylvia was only 14, her father passed away due to complications from diabetes. With her siblings being so much older and having one foot out the door, Max's passing bound her and her mother together. In Bound Brook, on Main Street, Lena ran a store, and Sylvia worked merchandise, pricing, and labeling the products, a skill which later would become a part of her love of art and calligraphy. In school Sylvia Ruter spent some time with the theatre crowd, playing roles including leads in local theatres gaining an appreciation for theatre and especially musical theatre which she has successfully passed on to her children. Sylvia was a thinker and a scientist as evidenced by her college diploma. She graduated a Physics Major with a Math minor and went off into a career in technology. Sylvia enjoyed an unusually long career for the 50s. She travelled, skied, made some great friends, and even had time for a little marriage, surprise, where she learned how to get a get (a jewish divorce) very quickly. (Alternate: She travelled, skied, and earned a living. She made some great friends, and, enjoyed her single days.) Ultimately, she travelled across the country to Los Angeles with Lena close behind. In time, she met a bright and energetic photographer and filmmaker, who could keep up with her academic prowess, political beliefs, and humor too. He had a MATH major and a physics minor! In 1961 Sylvia Ruter married Spencer David Saxon and began making a life together in Los Angeles. Over the hill from where David would be making movies, the Saxons bought the one home they ever owned on Woodman Avenue. It was in preparation for their new arrival. In October 1964, James Bennett was born, followed closely by Jennifer Leslie in March of 1966. Sylvia's children became a big focus of her life and thanks to the 60s and David's income working in the film industry, she opted to become housewife, raising her kids, having wonderful parties for friends and family who were, by looking at all the pictures in the photo albums, ever-present. Intellectual pursuits were always tops in the home. The TV was for news. At night there was scrabble, or Jotto, and then later Boggle. Parties were always filled with wonderful and sometimes energetic conversations. Family and friends, were not random occurrences, but a true and continual part of the experience of Sylvia's world. And the kids learned that there was opportunity and travel to be had. Perhaps Sylvia was one of the original "helicopter moms" but more in the sense that she was making sure the kids got to go where they needed to go, across town or across the globe. There were camps and activities, trips like clockwork to see Grandma Lena, and Grandma Ruth and the family in Northern California, folk camps, the UCSB Family Vacation Center in Santa Barbara and then Cambria Pines Lodge, and the Brilliant Family Picnic. Sylvia always made the events happen. Everything was ready, nothing needed to be done by the kids except to go. This was her profound ability. As the kids moved on to college, Sylvia was able to venture out, becoming an extra in film and television, and volunteering for organizations. The Saxons, Slevens, Steins, Borts, Rifkinds, Finns, Guenettes, Russells having formed into a lifelong group, were always in the "news". When Addison was born to her son James and Sylvia became a grandmother it was with immediate acceptance and love for Addison and his mother Michelle. Her supportive and open acceptance demonstrated her quiet strength and wisdom. At the weddings of her children, Jennifer to her new son-in-law Keith, and James to her new daughter-in-law the "new" Jennifer Saxon, the Gores and the Sylers seemed to sign rightup for the Sylvia club. Her presence brought families together with trust and love. Her four grandchildren, Addison, Sammy, Julianna, and Oliver may well find in them some of the subtle reticence that helped Sylvia navigate her way in the world with such grace. Her memory started fading, and her body's circulatory system, which had plagued her for years started becoming more unstable. While the joy she felt watching her grandkids play was twinkling in her eyes, so too was the sadness of grasping for thoughts that were once so clear. Even so, she always had at least one new recommended reading list book she was in the middle of. On the morning of September 18th, 2013 the day after 89th birthday, a stroke took her to the brink of life. But she stayed with us, long enough for her family to visit and make peace with her leaving, and to say goodbye. She even waited for Addison to fly home from New York to share one more day with her. On September 21st, Sylvia Ruter Saxon, passed away peacefully, in a characteristically timely and accommodating way, helping her family to move on with grace and care. She will be missed by all who knew her.

Lit by James Saxon

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