What is Shiva?

What is Shiva?

Shiva, a Hebrew word meaning “seven,” refers to a seven-day period of formalized mourning by the immediate family of the deceased in Jewish tradition. The mourning process begins immediately after the burial, with the remainder of that day being considered the first day of shiva. On the seventh day, shiva concludes after the morning service, known as Shacharit. It’s important to note that both the first and seventh days are considered partial days, yet they are included in the seven-day count.

The custom of holding shiva in the home of the mourners allows for a private and intimate setting where family and friends can gather to offer their condolences and support. This environment fosters a sense of community and provides a space where individuals can feel comfortable expressing their emotions while mourning their loved one. By creating an atmosphere that is both personal and protected, the home becomes a sanctuary during this vulnerable time, allowing those grieving to feel supported as they navigate the initial days following their loss.

During shiva, the family is encouraged to take a step back from their daily responsibilities, allowing them to fully focus on their emotional well-being and the healing process. This temporary respite from routine obligations gives mourners the time and space to reflect on their loss and navigate the complex emotions that accompany grief.

Following shiva, the sheloshim, a thirty-day period of mourning, continues until the morning service on the thirtieth day, providing an extended time for family and friends to gather, reflect, and pay their respects.

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Below are some of the traditional customs related to observing Shiva or sitting Shiva in the home:

Washing of Hands
A pitcher of water, a basin, and towel are placed outside the front door for use upon returning from the cemetery. Washing hands symbolizes separating ourselves from the spiritual impurity of death.

Prayer services
While observing Shiva or sitting Shiva, it is typical to hold services at the mourners’ home. A minyan (a quorum of ten) should be present at each service so the mourners can say Kaddish.

Covering mirrors
Mirrors often are covered in a Shiva house. Covering mirrors represents the mourners’ focus on spiritual rather than physical reflection.

Shiva candle
A candle that is lit upon return from the cemetery and burns for the entire length of a traditional seven day Shiva.

The Meal of Condolence
The traditional meal following the burial is called the Seudat Havra’ah or “meal of consolation”. This meal usually includes hard-boiled eggs which serve to symbolize the cyclical nature of life. The meal is to be arranged by friends or family.